Menopause and Marriage Breakdowns: What’s Behind the Rise in ‘Menodivorce’

The discussions we have about divorce often look at young couples who are starting to find their way in the world, misjudging the demands of marriage, and turning to divorce when things don’t pan out. But that focus can ignore the unique demands placed on every other demographic. There’s a growing national conversation about menopause and its influence on personal life decisions among aging women.

During menopause, women may start to reevaluate their lives – not just their health, but their careers and relationships as well. This period of reflection has contributed to a rise in ‘menodivorce,’ a term used to describe divorces that occur during or around menopause.

If you’re facing divorce in Charlotte, call Epperson Law Group, PLLC, today to explore your options now.

The menopause-marriage connection

Perimenopause, which can start years before menopause, brings in dramatic hormonal shifts that can upend a woman’s life. From hot flashes and night sweats to mood swings and changes in energy levels, a woman’s entire routine may be thrown off by the demands placed on them by this change. These issues can also bring clarity, though. Women often talk about menopause as a time that they reflect on life in general. At this stage of life, they’ve often spent decades taking care of children, their husbands, and their aging parents – often at the expense of their own physical and mental well-being. Menopause can shine a light on these issues, showing a woman that the unequal household roles, minimal intimacy, or emotional neglect she’s experiencing is not normal.

Menopause also marks the end of a woman’s childbearing years. While a woman may still have children at home at this stage, they may be older and more independent. This shifts the focus off of her role as “mom” and onto her as an individual, often leaving women reckoning with difficult questions about what they want the rest of their lives to look like.

The statistics behind ‘menodivorce’

Across the nation, divorce rates are dropping. However, there’s a group for whom that’s not the case is adults 50 and older. Divorce among older adults has risen dramatically compared to younger age groups. In 1990, just 3.9 out of every 1,000 married women ages 50 and older divorced. By 2008, that rate had nearly tripled to 11.0 and has remained relatively high, reaching 10.3 in 2023. Meanwhile, the divorce rate for adults ages 15 to 49 stayed steady from 1990 to 2008 and then declined through 2023, highlighting that the rise in divorce is concentrated among older adults, not younger ones.

When some men discuss the role menopause played in their divorce, they might frame it negatively, claiming that their conflict resulted from their wife becoming too emotional and hormonal. That’s a very shallow, surface-level interpretation of a phenomenon that obviously needs deeper understanding.

In interviews with women who divorce during menopause, women rarely wish they were still married or that they’d toughed it out. They’re often much happier than when they were married. They don’t view menopause as putting a hormonal veil over their eyes that keeps them from seeing the happiness in their marriages; they view it as a change that gave them clarity as to what their life was really like and what their marriage was really like.

Why menopause is rarely discussed in divorce proceedings

If menopause plays such a significant role in divorces among aging couples, why doesn’t it come up more during divorce discussions and proceedings? There are several reasons.

First, there’s a lot of stigma around it. Although every woman will eventually go through menopause at some point in her life, there’s an unspoken societal taboo against speaking about it. If women don’t even feel comfortable telling their doctors about their menopause symptoms, they’re certainly not going to bring it up to their attorneys.

Divorce lawyers may not ask or probe too deeply because it may seem irrelevant at that point. If a woman has already decided to divorce, hashing out the “why” behind it might seem like digging into old wounds. However, menopause doesn’t just affect a woman’s reason for divorce. It can also affect what life is like after divorce.

Financial impact of menopause on divorce

There’s no question that menopause can have a profound financial impact on women. While people most commonly think of hot flashes when they think about menopause symptoms, brain fog, fatigue, and depression are all very common. They can negatively influence a woman’s earning capacity, her ability to advance in the workplace, and her overall quality of life. These symptoms can also lead to increased healthcare costs and decreased retirement contributions, both of which can leave women scrambling to make ends meet during their golden years.

Lawyers who do not account for these factors during divorces may be unwittingly setting their clients up for difficult financial times ahead.

Where family law needs to catch up

There are numerous ways divorce attorneys can advocate for their clients in menopause-related divorces. Prenuptial agreements and other marital agreements can include menopause-related considerations about property division and spousal support, taking into account a woman’s lower earning capacity and increased healthcare costs related to menopause, subject to North Carolina’s enforceability and disclosure requirements.

Additionally, these factors may affect a fair division of assets. If a woman’s career growth is slowing or she needs to step back due to health issues, those factors should be considered in the division of assets.

Finally, lawyers should be proactive in representing clients in these cases. Menopause happens to every woman, and pushing it to the background doesn’t help anyone.

Facing divorce? Let’s talk about your options

The North Carolina family law team at Epperson Law Group, PLLC, is here to help you move forward as you plan for the next stage of your life. Schedule a time to talk by calling us now or reaching out to us online.