The Messiness of Divorce and How to Navigate It

Divorce is messy. It is often complicated, emotionally painful, and expensive. The combination of these challenges can make even routine decisions feel overwhelming. By understanding some of the common complications that can arise during divorce – and by speaking with a Charlotte divorce attorney – you may be better prepared to protect your interests.

The emotional reality of divorce

Divorce is a legal decree that states that a particular marriage no longer exists and that both parties are free to remarry.

Even though that may sound simple, divorce is far more complicated. If you are currently going through a divorce, you may be forced to deal with:

• The shock of someone you love no longer being part of your life as they once were.
• The feelings of betrayal that often accompany the end of a marriage.
• The loss of identity that can come with no longer being a spouse.

Every single one of these challenges can be very difficult to manage. Combined with the length, cost, and emotional strain of divorce, the process can feel overwhelming. Divorce isn’t easy, and it’s not just a legal event. Working with a divorce attorney can help you navigate the process with greater clarity and support.

Financial disclosure and secret assets

In North Carolina, when equitable distribution, alimony, or child support is litigated, spouses may be required to disclose financial information through discovery and court-ordered or locally required sworn financial filings.

Even though both spouses are legally obligated to fully disclose their finances when required by discovery, court orders, or sworn filings, it is not uncommon for the wealthier spouse to obscure the true value of their finances. This may involve failing to disclose certain assets, underreporting income, or liquidating assets before the divorce moves forward.

If a spouse hides assets during the divorce process, they may violate discovery obligations or court orders, and the court may consider that conduct when deciding equitable distribution. However, if the deception is never uncovered, the other spouse may receive less than they would otherwise receive under a fully informed equitable distribution.

If you are concerned that your spouse may be hiding money or being dishonest about their finances, a divorce attorney can work with a forensic accountant to identify undisclosed assets, accounts, or sources of income.

Many spouses enter marriage (and the divorce process) without financial autonomy. This can create financial vulnerability that can be exploited. For example, if you have been married for twenty years and, during these twenty years, raising your children was your full-time job, you may not have the skills necessary to get a well-paying job that affords you the same lifestyle.

If you want to protect your financial future and pursue a fair division of assets, working with an attorney can help. We can ask the court to require financial disclosures, use discovery tools to uncover hidden assets, engage forensic experts, and advocate for fair outcomes related to property division, alimony, and child support.

Co-parenting after a divorce

Divorce is complicated on its own, but with kids, it becomes even more difficult. Child custody is often a central issue, as it determines where your children will live and how parenting time is divided between parents.

If you are seeking the best possible custody arrangement for you and your children, while holding onto your parental rights, you may want to pursue the following paths:

• Be an active participant in your child’s life and document this through witness testimony from those who observe it and photos or videos of you and your children spending time together.
• Maintain a stable routine that incorporates your children. For example, if your kids start school at 8:30 AM, get them there at 8 AM sharp every single day.
• If the other spouse has a history of abuse, neglect, or unreliability, document this with your attorney so that they can present it when arguing for the custody arrangement you seek.

The courts that govern North Carolina child custody will aim to approve a custody arrangement that is in the best interests of your children. However, even if you obtain the custody arrangement you wanted, you may still need to co-parent with the other spouse. The following may make this process easier.

• When you speak with your former spouse, keep the conversation focused on your children, their wants and needs, and what is happening in their lives that both parents need to be part of.
• Respect the child custody arrangements you have agreed to and adhere to the scheduled drop-off and pick-up times, as well as any other facets that underlie these arrangements.
• If you are forced to address a challenge between you and the other spouse, do so as peacefully as possible without escalation. In the event that things go poorly, you can work with a child custody attorney.

Rebuilding independence after your divorce

If you were married for a long time, you may have relied on your spouse for certain responsibilities, such as paying bills and taking care of taxes. After a divorce, taking on these tasks on your own can feel unfamiliar and overwhelming, and you may need time to adjust to this new stage of life. You may want to consider the following:

• Work with a therapist who can help you navigate post-divorce life, as well as the emotional complexities that often come with it.
• Visit a financial counselor to get a better idea of your current finances and what you can do to address any issues that may be present.
• Establish new routines that affirm your newly gained independence.

Contact a Charlotte divorce attorney today

If you are getting divorced and would like legal assistance, contact Epperson Law Group, PLLC. Reach out online to speak with a Charlotte divorce attorney today. We are ready to help you navigate this difficult process.