Don’t Be Blindsided: What Stay-at-Home Moms Need to Know About Dividing Marital Assets

The work that stay-at-home parents do is invaluable, but married couples that embrace this arrangement must collaborate to strike a mutually suitable balance in terms of finances, household tasks, and other marital assets.

All too often, we have stay-at-home parents show up in our offices feeling blindsided and even frightened in the wake of a divorce request. Many find themselves wrestling with questions about how their marital assets will be divided and how they will provide for themselves and their children after having left the workforce. Thankfully, being a stay-at-home parent does not and should not mean that you have no leverage. Here’s a brief explanation of how stay-at-home parents can safeguard their financial security before, during, and after a divorce, and an inside look at how divorce attorneys help advocate for clients who find themselves fighting for their fair share of marital assets.

What are marital assets?

In North Carolina, courts generally consider any property acquired between the date of marriage and the date of separation a marital asset, unless it’s classified as separate property, such as property acquired before marriage, assets received during marriage as a gift, or an inheritance left to only one spouse. Additionally, certain post-separation increases in value may be classified as divisible property.

Generally, whether it’s the family home, savings, vehicles, or even businesses—if it was acquired during the marriage, it’s probably subject to division. Crucially, it doesn’t matter which spouse acquired the assets. That is to say, it’s not a matter of dividing things up according to who earned what. Instead, the court treats everything acquired during marriage (other than separate property) as being shared and subsequently subject to equitable division.

This approach can be particularly advantageous for stay-at-home parents because the non-working spouse does not have to show that they personally acquired an asset in order to lay claim to it during a divorce. That means that even if you didn’t earn a paycheck, your contributions to the home carry equal legal weight during negotiations.

How are marital assets divided in North Carolina divorces?

North Carolina utilizes an equitable distribution system when dividing marital property during a divorce. While the courts start with a 50/50 split as the baseline during the division process, equitable distribution requires that things ultimately be divided according to what is most fair. In some cases, 50/50 is actually not the most fair split for both parties, leaving the court to decide more specifically what would make the most sense.

To make determinations about the equitable distribution of marital property, judges will often consider factors like:

• How long did the marriage last
• Work history, current income, and earning potential of each spouse
• How each spouse contributed to the marriage, apart from their earnings
• The overall health, age, and likely future needs of each party
• Additional evidence that might indicate waste, hiding assets, or unauthorized accrual of debt

After taking all of these factors into account, a judge can make an informed decision about how to divide marital assets in a way that will sufficiently provide for the needs of both parties. These considerations can be particularly valuable for stay-at-home parents whose earning potential may have been significantly impacted by the years they spent outside of the workforce.

Common challenges for stay-at-home parents

Divorce can easily get complicated when one spouse does not work outside the home. For stay-at-home parents, there are some obstacles and common pitfalls that can further inhibit their divorce outcomes and leave them settling for less than they deserve. Here are some challenges we commonly see in divorces involving stay-at-home parents:

• Hidden assets: If one spouse handles the majority of the finances in a marriage, it can be relatively easy for them to hide assets from their ex before, during, or even after a divorce. If you don’t know about or don’t fully understand the value of certain assets, you may find yourself walking away with less than you’re entitled to.
• Undervaluing of household contributions: Exes, lawyers, and even the court can undervalue the work of homemakers. To combat this, you should come to the table equipped with evidence that details all of the ways you contributed to your marriage and household over the years.
• Overinflated earning potential: Just because someone is physically able to work does not necessarily mean that they are equipped to live up to their full earning potential. Many stay-at-home parents spend years out of the workforce, which can make it incredibly challenging to jump back in post-divorce. Additionally, the cost of childcare alone can be a major barrier to re-entering the competitive labor market.
• Undisclosed debt: It is surprisingly common for stay-at-home parents to find out about undisclosed marital debt over the course of divorce proceedings. This can become a major problem for non-working spouses because North Carolina presumes debts incurred during the marriage and before separation to be marital if they were incurred for the joint benefit of the spouses.

Any and all of these challenges can leave stay-at-home parents saddled with a raw deal that makes it even harder to move forward after a divorce. Between unexpected debt, undervalued assets, and an unreasonable expectation of earning potential, stay-at-home parents can easily find themselves in dire financial straits if they don’t work with a reliable legal representative who can help them protect their interests.

Proactively protecting your assets

As the saying goes, the best defense is a good offense. To that end, there are a few steps stay-at-home parents can take to safeguard their interests before divorce is even officially on the table. Here’s what you can do at the first inkling that things might be taking a turn:

• Start documenting: You’ll want to keep a running log of all the ways you contribute to your household. This might look like keeping detailed schedules or using a notebook to jot down daily responsibilities and sacrifices that help keep the household and/or marriage running smoothly.
• Get financially literate: Laying eyes on joint account statements and setting aside any documents you might have about your prior or current earnings, spending, or debts can help you prepare for the discovery process during your divorce. You might also want to consider opening a separate personal bank account or applying for a credit card so you can make arrangements for separation in a pinch.
• Speak to an attorney: Without a doubt, one of the best things you can do to protect your rights is speak with an experienced divorce attorney as soon as possible. Reliable legal counsel can advise you of your most viable legal options and help you avoid common pitfalls during divorce proceedings.

The decisions you make leading up to and during a divorce can have major implications for your future financial well-being, so you shouldn’t leave anything up to chance. Thorough documentation, financial preparation, and legal consultation can all help you shore up your position and leave you better equipped to advocate for what you deserve.

Final thoughts

Stay-at-home parents are just as deserving of marital assets as anyone else, and you shouldn’t let anyone tell you otherwise. North Carolina’s legal system allows for the equitable distribution of marital property based on the unique contributions of both spouses. The amount of labor and sacrifice required for child-rearing and household management constitutes significant marital contributions that courts need to take into account during equitable distribution.

At Epperson Law Group, PLLC, we pride ourselves on providing compassionate and knowledgeable legal support for clients from all walks of life. We understand the unique challenges many stay-at-home parents encounter when fighting for their fair share in a divorce and are committed to helping clients access the resources they need to safeguard their financial futures.

If you’re a stay-at-home parent going through a divorce in North Carolina, don’t let yourself be blindsided by unexpected legal expectations or undisclosed debt. Give us a call today or fill out our online contact form to discuss how Epperson Law Group, PLLC can help you pursue a divorce outcome that accurately reflects your marital contributions.