You’ve all met that couple: the one where the wife complains that her husband does nothing around the house, and the husband complains that the wife does nothing but spend his money. It’s been the basis of every tired, played out TV trope for more than 50 years.
But even tropes can be rooted in facts. While some men may not want to admit that they rely on their wives to do a lot for them, it is a known fact that many women who are in marriages work full time, take care of their children, do the laundry, handle the dishes and cleaning duties, and more. And many married men are still under the impression that they only need to go to work, make money, and go home to sleep. Instead of helping their wives with the children and household chores, they believe that their obligation is done for the day, while their wives pick up the slack around the home.
A study was published in the BMJ Journal in 2021 examining women’s physical and mental health from taking on the burdens of unpaid work. The study stated that “women spend a disproportionate amount of their time carrying out three quarters of the world’s unpaid work,” which equals to about 11 billion total hours each day. Unpaid work is cleaning, laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, tending to children, taking care of family, and more. Across the world, women are doing three times more domestic and household work than men, according to the study. As a result, women experience various mental health effects, such as stress, frustrations, overwhelmingness, and more.
How does this affect marriages?
Men depending on women to do everything for them is causing issues in marriages. There is a term for women who try to resolve their marital problems or encourage their husbands to change with no success, which is called walkaway wife syndrome. A woman experiences walkaway wife syndrome when everything she has tried to fix her marriage fails, leading her to walk away from the marriage and file for divorce from her husband. Here are some common reasons for walkaway wife syndrome:
- Societal expectations and gender roles
- Household responsibilities not being shared
- Feeling disconnected, stressed, or overwhelmed
- The husband not caring about his wife’s needs, wants, or feelings
- The children feeling unhappy by the constant bickering, arguments, and hostile environment
According to Psychology Today, women are more likely to file for divorce than men. Some of the reasons given for this is because they feel like they have lost their independence during the marriage, they are responsible for unequal amounts of caregiving and household duties, and they want a partner who will remain successful and resourceful.
Are there signs that a woman may be thinking about leaving her marriage and filing for divorce?
When a woman is thinking about leaving her marriage and filing for divorce, there are usually signs beforehand. Some of these signs may include:
- Ongoing arguments
- Rising tensions
- Obvious stress and frustration
- Complaints about the husband’s behaviors or lack of effort
- Feeling distant
- Unwilling to go to couples therapy or talk about problems
If you think that your marriage may be on the rocks and you would like to try to repair it, you should first accept responsibility for your lack of effort and the role you played in causing the marriage to fall apart. If you know that your wife took care of the children, household duties, and worked a full-time job but you never helped her with anything, you should start thinking about everything you could’ve done to help her. Then, you should ask her if she would like to make a plan to fix the marriage. This may be by attending a couple’s therapy session, developing a chart of equal household responsibilities, or talking about each other’s thoughts and feelings. The first step to repairing your marriage is to notice that you could have done better and wanting to do better.
What if I have tried everything I can, and my marriage still isn’t working out?
If you have tried every possible solution to fix your marriage but it still isn’t working out, it is most likely time that you consider filing for divorce. This may be a very difficult process to go through mentally and emotionally as this is the person you have spent many years with, created many memories with, and even had children with. However, it isn’t healthy to remain in an unhappy marriage when you both have grown apart and do not see eye-to-eye on certain things.
A Charlotte divorce attorney from Epperson Law Group, PLLC will guide you through this process, ensuring that it remains as smooth and stress-free as possible for you. Our team is aware of the hurdles and obstacles that may arise during a divorce, and we will provide the best possible legal advice on what to do during these situations. Our lawyers will not only inform you about your rights, but we will also work tirelessly to ensure that they remain protected from beginning to end.
The Charlotte divorce attorneys at Epperson Law Group, PLLC are committed to fighting for our clients’ needs and wishes throughout the divorce process. We are experienced, skilled, and knowledgeable when it comes to all types of issues that arise from these cases, such as child custody, child visitations, domestic violence, child support, parental rights, orders of protection, property division, alimony, paternity, relocation, and more. Therefore, if you have any questions or concerns regarding your divorce, please do not hesitate to call our office or complete our contact form at your earliest convenience. We can schedule your case evaluation at one of our offices in Charlotte, Weddington, Concord, or Boone.
James L. Epperson is a graduate of Appalachian State University and from Mercer University. He has practiced law for over 30 years and is certified in arbitration.
Find out more about James L. Epperson