Parental Alienation: What It Is and What to Do

Divorce is hard enough on families. But when one parent tries to turn a child against the other, it adds an emotional layer that’s tough to overcome. This is what we call parental alienation. It’s not just a phase — it’s a major problem that may leave long-lasting scars on parents and children. Should you suspect this is occurring, it’s imperative to know what it is, how it can impact your child, and how you might intervene. Whether you’re in the middle of a custody battle or just beginning to notice signs, taking action early is key.

If you’re dealing with this in North Carolina, the advice and support of a local family law attorney might be just what you need.

What is parental alienation?

Parental alienation happens when one parent tries to turn a child against the other parent. It can show up in different ways – like talking negatively about the other parents, making the child feel guilty for spending time with them, or even blocking their attempts to connect. It’s a pattern of behavior aimed at souring the connection between a parent and child.

For example, the alienating parent might make negative comments about the other parent, such as criticizing their character, accusing them of wrongdoing, or making the child feel guilty. Sometimes the alienating parent could even lie to the child about the other parent or deliberately thwart their attempts at communication.

Although many children experience phases of choosing one parent above the other, parental alienation is unique because of its deliberate and manipulative character. Unchecked behavior can seriously damage the bond between the child and the estranged parent.

If you’re dealing with this, it’s important to understand what’s going on and how you can address it with the help of a family law attorney.

The effects of parental alienation on children

The emotional and psychological impact on children who are subjected to parental alienation can be devastating. They may begin to view the alienated parent in a negative light, often without understanding the full context of the situation.

Children who experience parental alienation often feel torn between their parents. They may feel guilty for spending time with one parent, or they may develop a distorted view of the parent being alienated, believing that parent is unworthy of love or care. This emotional strain can lead to feelings of confusion, anxiety, and depression.

The long-term effects can include difficulties in forming healthy relationships as adults, problems with self-esteem, and even struggles with trust. It’s critical to recognize that children are deeply affected by the actions of both parents, and their well-being should always be the top priority.

Recognizing parental alienation

How can you tell if your child is being alienated from you? Parental alienation doesn’t always present itself in clear-cut ways. However, there are several warning signs that may indicate it’s happening, like rejection, hostility, or unwillingness to spend time with the alienated parent. Some things to look out for include:

• Inconsistent or illogical reasons for rejecting the alienated parent. For example, a child might refuse to visit a parent based on exaggerated or fabricated stories.
• Unexplained changes in the child’s behavior after time spent with the alienating parent, such as increased anxiety, irritability, or anger.
• Complete rejection of the alienated parent despite a previously healthy relationship.

If you notice these signs, it’s crucial to take action quickly. The earlier you address parental alienation, the better chance you have to repair the relationship with your child.

Legal strategies for addressing parental alienation

If you suspect parental alienation is taking place, seeking the advice of a local family law attorney should be one of your first steps. There are legal avenues available to address this behavior, but it’s essential to work with someone who understands the complexities of family law in North Carolina.

Modifying custody arrangements

One of the most common legal strategies is seeking modification of the custody arrangement. In North Carolina, custody can be modified if there’s evidence that the child’s well-being is at risk. If parental alienation is proven, the court may adjust the custody arrangement to ensure the alienated parent has more time with the child. This may involve transitioning to joint custody or even awarding full custody to the non-alienating parent, depending on the severity of the situation.

Court-ordered counseling

In cases of parental alienation, the court may order counseling for the child or the parents. A therapist specializing in family dynamics can help repair the damaged relationship between the child and the alienated parent. This approach provides a neutral space for both parties to address their issues and work toward reconciliation.

Seeking professional help

If the alienation is severe, the court might recommend additional services, such as family therapy or psychological evaluations. These interventions can help identify the root cause of the alienation and assist in healing the emotional wounds caused by the alienating parent’s behavior.

Legal consequences for alienating parents

In some extreme cases, parental alienation can lead to legal consequences for the parent who is manipulating the child. Courts take parental alienation seriously, as it undermines the best interests of the child. In the most severe cases, the alienating parent may face a loss of custody or visitation rights. A family law attorney can guide you through the process of proving alienation and protecting your relationship with your child.

Coping strategies for parents

Dealing with parental alienation is emotionally and mentally exhausting. It’s vital to stay calm and patient, even when the situation feels out of control. Here are some coping strategies:

• Maintain open communication: Always be available to talk with your child. Let them know you’re there for them, no matter what.
• Don’t engage in retaliation: Avoid badmouthing the other parent in front of your child. While it may feel tempting, it only feeds into the alienating behavior.
• Stay involved: Attend school events, extracurricular activities, and other important events in your child’s life.
• Keep documentation and evidence: If you believe parental alienation is happening, keep detailed notes on any interactions that suggest alienation, such as when your child expresses negative views about you or refuses to visit. Document conversations, emails, or messages that may support your case.
• Don’t lose hope: Parental alienation can be a long and difficult process to address, but don’t give up. Focus on what you can control, like maintaining your relationship with your child and taking the necessary legal steps to protect your bond.

Protect your relationship with your child

Parental alienation can have a long-lasting impact on both you and your child, but with the right support, you can take steps to protect your relationship. If you’re dealing with parental alienation in North Carolina, the legal team at Epperson Law Group, PLLC is here to help. With decades of experience in family law, including child custody and support issues, our attorneys can guide you through the process. To schedule a consultation at our offices in Charlotte, Boone, or Weddington, call us or fill out our contact form today.